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Pacman’s Coming. Probably Later Than Sooner.

Week 10 in the CFL begins Friday night with Montreal at B.C.

The Bombers play again Sunday at 3 p.m. on TSN in the Labour Day Classic at Regina against the Saskatchewan Roughriders. The Riders are 7 1/2-point favourites.

That’s all we know — exactly — about the Bombers involvement in the Labour Day Weekend. We know a lot of other things, but none of them, for certain.

This week, the blockbuster news came down that Adam (Pacman) Jones had signed a one-year contract with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

Jones, who has had a number of run-ins with the legal community in the United States, is still a great football player who simply can’t separate his football life from a private life that appears to be poisoned by booze and a love for strippers and guns. That’s a pretty toxic combination and it’s resulted in an inability to be hired by the nice, upstanding folks who run the National Football League.

So we first hear that Pacman’s coming, then Blue Bombers’ CEO Lyle Bauer tells Tom, Joe and I on 92-CITI-FM this morning that the team’s player personnel director, John Murphy, who spilled the beans to Sports Illustrated, might have spoken too soon. Bauer wouldn’t deny that he’d like to have Jones join the local football side, he just wasn’t sure that a signed contract — plus all the paperwork required to get Pacman and his legal baggage across the border — has been formally notarized.

Meanwhile, everybody from community activists to politicians gave us their opinion on the potential arrival of the bad boy cornerback, and of course most of them were either morons or just historical revisionists who forgot about Kyries Hebert (domestic trouble), Onterrio Smith (the user of the original Whizz-in-ator), Juran Bolden (stole a car) and Mike Sellers (smoked the hippie lettuce), all less than golden citizens when they came to came to Winnipeg — and all but Smith — turned out to be decent guys and rebuilt their NFL careers.

Of course, even the silly Winnipeg Free Press asked the following question of the day: “Is Pacman Jones worthy of the Blue and Gold?” Worthy? Guess the ol’ Freeps’ editors just forgot about the team’s history with players who have notorious backgrounds.

Assuming that Jones will be allowed into the country, he would be a welcome addition to a team that desperately needs a punt and kick returner and can always use another corner.

Meanwhile, there was also talk on Tuesday night that wide receiver Charles Rogers, the Detroit Lions’ castoff  could be headed to Winnipeg. At least, last night at the Hearts of Blue and Gold Dinner for Variety, the Bomber players were intrigued with that rumour.

Regardless, Pacman’s agent says his client will be in Winnipeg soon.

He’d look good in the lineup on Sunday. With or without all the baggage.

More Stuff Banging Around in My Noggin…

I was sitting in the press box at Canwest Park last night waiting for the Goldeyes and Joliet to get it on when my brain started to go thump, thump, thump.

Here’s what fell out onto the page…

1) Last Friday night, Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress felt that Brett Favre would play at least a half against Houston next Monday night.

Childress said all he wanted from Favre last Friday night in Minneapolis was to complete all the exchanges from centre-to-quarterback ad to hand the ball off to Adrian Peterson.

“If he completed a couple of passes, great,” Childress added. “That’s not what we were after. We have a 39-year-old guy playing his first game of the year after 2 1/2 days of practice. Taking the exchange from centre was a good first step for Brett.”

I asked Childress during the news conference how long he felt it would take Favre to get used to his teammates, the terminology, the surroundings and his own physical capabilities and Childress was forthright.

“Two weeks,” he said.

That sounds about right. Sounds like it was about right for Michael Bishop, too.

2) A website/newsletter/journalistic-type-place called the Bleacher Report, picked the Top 100 players in baseball this month. No. 1 was Albert Pujols. No argument there.

However, at No. 5 was Minnesota’s Joe Mauer. No. 5? Number Freakin’ 5?

I cancelled my subscription. Anyone who picks Mauer No. 5, hasn’t ever seen Mauer play and if they haven’t seen Mauer, they have nothing of interest to a baseball fan.

Mauer is a freakin’ catcher for goodness sake. He plays the toughest position on the field and throws bee-bees from his knees to each of the bases. He handles a pitching staff. He calls for pitches. He has to know everything going on out on the field at all time.

Meanwhile, he hits .380. And he’ll win the American League batting title this year with at least 30 home runs, 100 runs scored and 100 RBI even though he didn’t play a game until May 1.

However, he’ll also lead the AL in slugging percentage (.635) and on base percentage (.449) and right now, he leads Pujols in batting average and on-base percentage (Pujols is slightly ahead in slugging percentage, .665 to .635).

Mauer is a lifetime .328 hitter who won the AL batting title in 2006 (.347) and 2008 (.328) and he’s a freakin’ catcher. Oh yeah, and he’s only 26.

Hanley Ramirez and a couple of pitchers couldn’t carry Mauer’s 6-foot-5, 235-pound jock to the ballpark. The Bleacher Report is not a report. It’s a bunch of dudes farting around.

3) They say female South African runner Caster Semenya is not a woman, but a man. The IAAF is forcing her to undergo tests to determine that she’s indeed a woman. As it is for most sports governing bodies, humiliating people is an easy thing to rationalize. In fact, the IAAF “ordered” her to take the tests. Ordered.

Hey, I don’t know if she’s a man or a woman, but if she says she’s a woman, she’s a woman. What real man would want a woman’s medal anyway?

And besides, despite the humiliation she’s been forced to endure, one thing is certain. She has the best abs in sport … anywhere, anytime, any sex.

The Hockey World Gets Crazier Every Day

When it comes to the NHL, it’s hard to imagine that things could be crazier. From making up rules as they go along to their futile attempts to hide the coming financial disaster from the public, every NHL day is a wild and crazy day.

So without further adieu, let’s dig deeper into the mess that IS Gary Bettman’s National Hockey League:

1) It has been said by lawyers who are more attuned to the issue than me, that if Bettman loses his case against the re-location of the Phoenix Coyotes, then the dominoes will begin to fall.

In fact, Bettman speaks the truth when he says he really has nothing personal against Jim Balsillie, the man trying to move the Coyotes to Hamilton. Bettman’s real beef is with anybody who would force the league to move one of its shaky franchises (and believe me, there are many), thus allowing other franchises to do the same.

Case in point: The Columbus Blue Jackets.

We often use Nashville, Atlanta, Florida, Tampa and the Islanders as examples of teams that would love to re-locate if only the league would allow them to move. 

Friday, however, a major story on the front page of the Columbus Dispatch made it very clear that the Blue Jackets have serious financial problems.

Who knew? In fact, because the Jackets regularly announce crowds between 14,000 and 17,000 per night at Nationwide Arena, no one assumed that the team was drowning in red ink. In 2008-09, the Blue Jackets averaged 15,543 fans per game (think about this: it would be at least 500 more tickets sold per game than can actually be purchased to attend hockey games at Winnipeg’s MTS Centre). With tickets priced between $18 and $150 per game, not including suites or loge box seating, the team will lose more than $10 million on operations this year.

Blue Jackets president Mike Priest issued this written statement on the team’s website late last week: 

“The Columbus Blue Jackets are in the process of seeking a solution for a structural problem in the economic model that was created over a decade ago to ensure the construction of Nationwide Arena and the procurement of a NHL team for Columbus. This is an issue for us because we manage and operate the team as well as the building. Because the building was financed and constructed privately, there are certain revenue streams typically available to teams that are not available to the Blue Jackets.

“As an organization, we have incurred substantial losses over the past several years, of which a significant portion is related to arena operations under the current structure. It is a building financial problem that has become a team financial problem. If we fix the building problem, we fix the team problem.”

Sound familiar? That could have been Barry Shenkarow talking about the Winnipeg Jets relationship with Winnipeg Enterprises Corporation in 1982.

Over the last seven seasons, the Blue Jackets have lost upwards of $80 million. This year, despite reaching the playoffs, the Jackets lost more than $10 million.

If a team like the Blue Jackets is losing money, a team that makes the playoffs, draws well and is closer to the salary cap floor than the ceiling, I can’t imagine what the numbers are like in Atlanta, Nashville, Florida and Tampa. However, I do the Islanders have lost $283 million of Charles Wang’s money since 2001, so those losses would be significant.

No wonder teams are looking seriously at that court case in Phoenix.

2) It’s great to be a star in the NHL. Had Dan Cleary or Maxime Talbot received an instigator penalty with 19 seconds to play in a Stanley Cup final game, you can bet they’d be suspended for the next game.

But not Evgeni Malkin. The league found a slick rationalization for keeping Malkin in the lineup Tuesday night.

From the NHL’s own website: 

National Hockey League Executive Vice President and Director of Hockey Operations Colin Campbell issued the following statement regarding the instigator penalty assessed to Pittsburgh’s Evgeni Malkin at 19:41 of the third period of tonight’s Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final:

Rule 47.22 states: “A player who is deemed to be the instigator of an altercation in the final five minutes or at any time in overtime shall be suspended for one game, pending a review of the incident.  The director of hockey operations will review every such incident and may rescind the suspension based on a number of criteria. The criteria for the review shall include, but not be limited to, the score, previous incidents, etc…”  

Following that review, Campbell said: “None of the criteria in this rule applied in this situation. Suspensions are applied under this rule when a team attempts to send a message in the last five minutes by having a player instigate a fight.  A suspension could also be applied when a player seeks retribution for a prior incident.  Neither was the case here and therefore the one game suspension is rescinded.”

NHL Hockey Operations also determined that Malkin should have been assessed a game misconduct for not having his jersey tied down.

Whatever. It just pays to be a big name.

3) Sobering news for the Pittsburgh Penguins:

History tells us that the winner of Game 1 of the Stanley Cup final, wins the Cup 78.6 per cent of the time. When it’s the home team that wins Game 1, as Detroit did on Saturday night, the winning percentage increases to 87.9 per cent. When the home team wins Games 1 and 2, it wins the Cup 94.9 per cent of the time.

We’re merely heading into Game 3 in Pittsburgh and even though the Penguins have yet to lose at home, they still need a miracle.

Gary Bettman and the truth are strangers.

At his State of the League address in Detroit on Saturday, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman made a very big issue out of the fact he saved the Pittsburgh Penguins and planned to save the Phoenix Coyotes.

As all hockey fans know, the Penguins required bankruptcy protection (for a second time in franchise history) a decade ago but because the team eventually drafted Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin (after the Penguins once again faced financial difficulties in 2002) and because Mario Lemieux jumped into the ownership game (to make sure he was paid the $33 million he was owed), Pittsburgh was able to overcome its financial mess ($37.5 million in losses in 1998 and 1999) and remain a viable NHL member.

“Truth be told, it’s probably fair to say that the Pittsburgh Penguins – during their bankruptcy period – were in worse shape,” Bettman said on Saturday afternoon. “Because they didn’t even have at the time the prospect of a new building. And look at where they are today. …

“We didn’t walk out on Pittsburgh, we fought to fix their problems. We’re fighting for Phoenix because of our covenant with the team and the fans there.”

Yeah, just like he didn’t walk out on Winnipeg when he refused to even discuss the concept of a community-owned franchise (which he later allowed in Edmonton), publicly declared that there had to be one single owner approved by the NHL governors and then did everything in his power to move the team out of Winnipeg to any other stinking building in any other non-hockey community he could find.

Most journalists today like to write (for brevity’s sake, one suspects) that the Jets were simply moved to Phoenix in 1996, but that isn’t entirely true. The purchasers of the Jets, Dr. Richard Burke and Steven Gluckstern, wanted to move the team to  Minneapolis, but when they couldn’t cut a deal with the Target Centre, Bettman “arranged” to have the team move into Jerry Colangelo’s basketball building in downtown Phoenix, the one with the obstructed views at one end.

When Bettman says: “We didn’t walk out on Pittsburgh, we fought to fix their problems. We’re fighting for Phoenix because of our covenant with the team and the fans there,” he’s handing the journalists in attendance a lie and expecting those journalists to believe him without a challenge. Sadly, they did.

Gary Bettman did nothing for Winnipeg fans — or Quebec fans when the Nordiques moved to Colorado. He had no covenant in either of those markets. He likes to pick and choose his “covenants.” 

On Saturday, Gary Bettman and the truth were strangers.